Sajini Chandrasekera

this is where I am at

As you walked away

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When I was a kid I used to think being in love was something magical, something special. But when I fell for you all my expectations of love shattered. I thought you loved me, you said you loved me, but now you are leaving me for my own good. This is not the fairy tale story I wanted. I loved you, I still do, but now I'm brokenhearted, I let you in, I gave you my all, but despise them all you walked away. You said we'd always be together, and you promised ......

I know there are some things you can't change. I know there are some situations where apologies hold no bearings. I know that twists of fate bring people together, And sometimes everything happens for a reason can tear them apart. I know that I will never forget you, for you will always have a place in my heart.

I gave you my heart trusting of not hurting..Now it's in pieces and you're no longer around. I know you don't deserve me anymore but I just can't let you go...All those silent moments we shared will always stay in my heart. Now I'm sitting here all alone staring at your pictures which I treasure so much wishing you were here with me, but I know you won't come back and that's what hurts the most. 

 I hide my tears when I say your name, but the pain in my heart is still the same. Although I smile and seem care free, there is no one who misses you...more than me. Sometimes I wish I never became so close to you, that way it wouldn't be as hard saying goodbye. 

I'm completely out of words about how I feel about you.. I don't even know why I still love you knowing that you have already broken my heart a hundred times and yet, I am still deeply in love with hope that you'll soon realize how much I really love you and that you'll feel the same way about me too. No matter how many times I tell myself I'm over you, I always still find myself thinking about you and I'll wait all my life loving you silently and waiting for you to come to me again.

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 7:06 PM, ,

Happiness you bring

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Past was blistered with pain and tears
Many times feared they would last till end
You walked slowly into my life
Bringing the happiness and joy along

Now the pain I no longer hide
I share the fears and tears with the heart I love
Happiness to my life you bring every day
To the way you make me smile in many ways

Slowly pushing away the sorry times
You gently carry me to the blessed lanes
You have given me joy  and smiles
Which I thought would never be mine

With you by my side I have no fear
Promise me that you'll hold me forever
No body can ever make me feel like this
You, my love is a bunch of happiness to me.

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 6:37 PM, ,

Journey of love

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It was just another day and as usual we met, at the same place, same time. We smiled, laughed and talked, but as I looked into your eyes I felt you were about to say some thing to me. I kept staring at you, waiting for the moment for you to tell me the truth which your eyes silently spoke.  My mind kept wandering with thoughts of fear and secretly I promised my self, no matter what, how hard the circumstances, I will stand with you till the end. 

I still wonder why I fell in love with you in the first place, but I know I did the right thing loving you. I still remember the very first day I saw you and recently we both recalled those memories back, smiling.......Nothing will be ever be lost on our encounter together, our smiles, our little arguments, our childish giggles and our secretly stolen moments will be cherished each and every day of our lives.
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posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 1:48 PM, ,

Miss you tonight

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As I gain upon  the stars I think of you
Miss you so much that the heart aches so
I longed to be in your arms all the time
Needing your kiss and your touch

Though you are miles away, in a place I cant touch
But your voice had made me smile through it all
I wish I could hold your hand look into your eyes
Cuddle in your chest where is my favorite place

You gave me love, when I had little,
I opened my heart to you, it was so brittle.
Each day that's passed, I've  shed a tear,
I’m lost in love, without you here

I wipe my tears knowing it's for few days
I pray God to keep you safe 
I wait for you to come back to my arms again
Missing you so much more than you know

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 12:33 PM, ,

faded memories

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I gazed upon the night sky to see the twinkle of the shinning stars. How quite and silent every thing is around me. I miss your laughter and your whispers and I just sit to dwell those memories of us. My heart is lonely and blue and aching with memories of you. I miss your touch and your kisses and I feel like that my whole life has come to an end. Every time I close my eyes, it's you I see.....and your smile I keep looking with teary closed eyes. 

Why was it so hard to let you go? I knew you never belong to me or never will, yet deep inside I felt you were mine.....only mine. It was so easy to love you and that simple charm in you attracted me and locked me inside your arms. There were many times I kept my head on your chest and closed my eyes, and I must have been like that for hours, just thinking of you and me together.  It was dream .....and only a dream. 

You belong to some one else, yet I didn't mind when I fell for you. I didn't mind the differences we had or the distance we have or any other. I didn't see anything else except you and your loving gentle heart. Your smiles brighten my days while your words ponder my heart. I kept thinking that you were a gift from God above, a gift which was rare but beautiful. I wanted you to be by my side, to hold me and to guide me. I wanted you to protect me and keep me under your wings for ever, but deep inside we both knew that one day we have to choose different paths. You always argued when I talked of quitting and that made me feel your love more. I didn't wanted to quit, I didn't wanted to give the most precious treasure in my life and even the thought of you leaving me always made me fragile in heart. 

But the day to depart came faster than we thought and for your own sake, for your own happiness I had to let you go from all ties I had for all these days, months and years. It was so hard to say good bye with a smile but yet I played strong for your own sake. I wanted you to hate me , forget me and to erase all traces of my existence in your life. My whole world stopped when you slowly walked away from me. I watched you go from my life, I watched you fade away with tears pouring  down my cheeks. I screamed why life was cruel to take you away from me, I cursed my self for not being more worth for you. I hated every thing around me and all I wanted was peace and silence. I dwell in our memories, I dwell in the places we embraced our selves as lovers, and the silent stolen moments we both secretly shared. 

How can I live with this pain of loosing you ? But I must, not for me but for your sake. Every day I pray for your safety and for your happiness and it has become a daily routine. I live only because I want God to protect you and I hope my silent prayers will give you peace in life. I still love you more than I ever did and the void that you created in my life will always remind of you and till my last breath I will keep on  loving you.......

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 6:47 PM, ,

Words of whisper

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I keep thinking of how much I love talking to you.. How good you look when you smile. How much I love your laugh. I day-dream about you off and on, replaying pieces of our conversation, laughing at funny things that you said or did. I've memorized your face and the way that you look at me. I catch myself smiling again at what I imagine. I wonder what will happen the next time we are together and even though nothing will come out of this, I know one thing for sure, for once...... I don't care, I cherish every moment I have with you

Never in a million years did I think I'd find someone so utterly and completely perfect, someone who would make me happier than I ever dreamed I could be, someone that would touch my life so profoundly and just give me a whole new reason to breathe. But then I found you and realized that everything I anticipated you to be doesn't even compare to who you are

Your thoughts are engraved in my heart. Your sweet name is etched on my heart. Your pure love is deeply embedded in my soul forever. How can I ever let you go? I breathe for you. I live for you. You are my only hope in this world where I feel so lonely and lost. You are the one with whom I want to spend the rest of my life. I love you with all my heart and soul

My love for you knows no bounds, its timeless and endless. You can enrich my life in more ways then I can ever express in words. I felt strongly connected to you the moment I looked into your eyes. I was drawn to your soul in a way I have never experienced before. You are the only one can see the door to my inner self.
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posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 7:21 PM, ,

Inspired love

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Deep in my heart,you rest your soul
Even though the distance apart
You are the man I fell in love with
The only one my heart wants to read

When the moon shines,I feel you close
That is when I need you most 
To feel your arms wrapped around me 
Holding me tenderly through the night

Your smile fills me with joy
Your words of love has it's whisper
Hold me close to your heart and soul
Forever in my heart you'll be mine

You inspire me with your love
Knowing that it comes from deep inside
Your soul has the magical spirit
It helps me to soar into the wildest sky 

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 7:30 PM, ,

Heart of silence

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I want to let go of silences between you and me. The ones that take up so much space, everything else crunches up into a heartache........

Thoughts in my mind are like unwritten letters of love and pain, which was caused by the man I loved deeply. Some times it was hard to bear the long silence between us which make me feel lonely more than you would ever know. 

Love hurts so much that at times it leaves me in depth of sadness which is certainly larger than the high of happiness it gave. I remember once you told me that it love is beautiful and love don't hurt but the people who love us hurt us in different ways. I deeply thought of what you said and how right you were. Our love and what we share has it's own unique beauty of love but some times our actions and words hurt the inner feelings which brings pain. 

Some times it's just the silence between us hurt me more. There are times I yarn for your words and wanted to ponder on your smiles but silence of your loving heart has made it's own barrier, where I can't get close. Some times I miss your smile and your looks and I just close my eyes to mesmerize all what I have in my heart of you. I know it's silly to be like a little girl but your love had brought back the life I once lost and the happiness which I dread to find. 

It is some times hard to bare the silence you give, when we have spent so much time with each other .....Maybe I love you more than you ever love me, maybe my love has more meaning to me than  to you, maybe I never loved any one the way I loved you and maybe that is the reason my little heart can't bare the silence you give at times....

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 5:14 PM, ,

Tribute to the king of blogging

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S A J Shirazi, the king of blogging celebrates his birthday today in style with all his loved ones and fellow bloggers. 
Shirazi is one of the most famous personalities in the blogosphere and my blogging journey started with little baby steps of his amazing teachings online. He has exceptional writing skills which does not fence him in one particular subject and his knowledge in corporate blogging is truly stunning. When I first met him on social media I was not familiar with blogging and knew nothing about it, but when Shirazi saw my writing skills, he urged me to put up my own blog but the fear in me stopped me from taking that giant step and on July 2012, I finally agreed to start my own blog. Today, I have a successful (well read) blog because of him and his guidance have taken me to great highs of this blogging world.

S A J Shirazi is blogging guru, a friend and his strengths have made him unique in his own way. There is no better day than today to say how much I appreciate him in my blogging life and as a teacher and may this day bring happiness, love and good health to him all year around.

Happy birthday to wonderful teacher, happy birthday to a amazing writer, happy birthday to the king of blogging, happy birthday to a beautiful soul, happy birthday to S A J Shirazi.


posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 9:58 AM, ,

I'll be with you

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I love you is all I have to say
Please believe me when I say
There's feeling inside my heart 
That's unexplained and deeply true

Through ever struggle, every obstacle
It's a journey we must face
I promised you my heart, my soul
That I'll stay with you in every step of the way

I'll hold your hand and not let go 
Tackling your fears and holding your tears
There may be times I'll let you down 
But my love I promise I'll never let you hit the ground

My river of love is flowing strong for you
Even when the current mix all our emotions
We'll always have one another, I promise 
We'll be strong together and not be undone

And when things feel like they are falling
We have to remind our selves that we are together
It's  brand new start to an end of a problem
You will forever be in my heart

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 8:10 PM, ,

Spiritual love

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After along time of a silent wait, I feel such tenderness of my beating heart. It's like dew drops have finally found it's way in to my life and bringing you with them I feel I'm on top of the world. Even as friends for a short period I felt your desires flowing from the deep of your heart. I felt your yearning for my love, which you knew was true and even the miles couldn't take the feelings with were mutual.

It was strange how you walked into my life, but what we share together, these moments are the only precious memories which will exist in our hearts one day. Your smile will be the only thing I will hang on till the last breath and the moments I stole from your life will be the en carvings in my heart which will keep me reminding of the man I once loved.
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posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 8:16 PM, ,

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