Sajini Chandrasekera

this is where I am at

Weeping tears

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I love no one but you, and you know that very well, but you are far away and I am here alone in my own little world. Then this is my life and maybe, however unlikely, I’ll find my way back to the place I once belonged, or maybe, one day, I’ll settle for what's meant to be.....


I still weeps for you late at night, when sleep does not come easily, when my pillow gets wet with the pouring rivers of my pain. It weeps for the one I miss. It weeps for the dreams on the tips of your fingers. It weeps for appointments missed and it weeps for the smiles we shared once. It weeps for the silence and it weeps for the noise. It weeps for the little love notes you wrote to me once, secret words were spoken as close to your ear as possible. It weeps for betrayal, intended or not. It weeps for the friends you once were. It weeps for the colors faded. It weeps for sunrise and it weeps for the glowing moon. It weeps for the long forgotten stolen moments and the unforgettable magical kisses. It weeps for who we were and who were are and for all the little memories that haunt day and night yet too far to embrace. It weeps for the last time you touched. It weeps for words that can never be taken back. It weeps so hard and so much and so often. So you don't have to. So you can carry on. It weeps for you. When you have run out of weeping you just remain a memory....A memory that I will be hold in deep in my heart, in a place unforgotten and sacred, some where deep where you will always remain untouched.  

Wish you were here. Wish I was there. Wish it was different. Wish wishes came true.
I'd wish you back.

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 11:41 AM, ,

Missing moments

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                                pic- Google


Here feeling so down
Not having you around
With aching heart I wander
To embrace you in my arms

My heart aches when I don't see you
My heart waits for words from you
Remembering your smile all the time
I miss you so this time

I love you more and more each day
Hope you know how my heart aches
Miss you and your words each day
Even your absence, I feel you near

I miss you more than words can say 
Every minute feel like so long
I want to hide my self in your love 
Don't wanna miss you even for a while 

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 11:51 AM, ,

Silent love

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I closed my eyes ...How easily you broke my heart and walked away. How easily you shattered my dreams , our dreams. You shattered me into pieces and left me. Every passing moment I think of you and our times together. I'm struggling hard to put your memory away but every time I try to forget you keep haunting me. Though how much I try, I find it hard to push you into past and see the beauty of other things around me. You are still part of me and it will take a long time to heal this pain you intently gave me.

We both had a dream and slowly we were beginning to reach that dream. Unexpectedly, you with drew your self from every thing and left me. You left me with a broken heart , a broken promise and a broken dream.When things are broken no matter how much glue or tapes you use to hide the cracks the cracks will be visible. I always had the ability to hide my cracks but where you are concern I'm weak , as the light it self reflects my scars in perfection.

We have been in this road before, you and I , but as long as we keep thinking of each other it will keep on hurting us.The feelings are hurting , the memories painful, emotions are over whelming and each time we both get carried away. In this painful run we both have been broken each others heart more times than should be allow. I was nothing till you came to my life and who I am or what I am is what I inherited from you and I wouldn't take any of it back. I owe you more than words can ever say. But time has come to let you go. It is not possible to let go of some one I loved deeply and who was by my side every step of the way. I use to lean on you at hard times and every time I felt protected and sheltered under your wing and the guidance you gave me every time I needed, were life time lessons. You gave me so much that any one could ever have and letting you go is the hardest of all. My humble heart still want you beside me , to be my strength, my courage and to be my pillar and most of all to love me. We have had our chance, our many chances. And we can't manage to get it right. So that tells me it's time to stop. I don't want to break anymore and mostly I don't want to hurt you. 

You once said to me that I'm hurting you and I didn't love you the way you wanted, how true you are. I know why you left me but just wish you gave me little more time to love you back slowly. It was a long wait for you and you lost your patience and every time you got hurt because of me. I'm sorry for every word I said to you, for every action and for keeping you for long. Loving you was the easiest and I told you so many times. You have inspired me in every way that you made me see who I am. You have changed me so much in every way that I know I cannot replace you in my life. I'm happy with things I  love most , what you gave me but I'm still holding onto you, to those beautiful memories. To the love you gave so freely and I took with a happy heart. You never understood my love to you ....my silent love.

You are hurting me immensely but it doesn't make me love you any less or forget you. Every thing you gave me will be with me and I will keep loving every moment I spent with you. But time has come to move on. I'm done holding onto you, done wishing things were different. Some things just cannot be, and despite our best efforts it appears that we are one of those things. I love you forever and for always, but I am going to disappear now. You will not find me again. I am done being broken and done carrying this broken heart. I want you to be happy in what path you choose and I promise that silently I will think of you every step of my life.

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 11:44 AM, ,

All of me loves all of you

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                                                        John Legend - All of me


I closed my eyes just to feel this beautiful piece of music and wondered how close theses words to our own story. Though I keep mesmerizing every single moment I spent with you and still keep hanging on to those unforgettable memories of our encounter. As tears rolled down my cheeks, I kept running to the time I use to hold your hand and feel your kisses, a time which gave the most precious memories which I behold very deep in  my heart. 

I loved you bearing all your imperfections and I gave all of me because all I ever wanted was your happiness and your smiles. I always loved to see the most beautiful smile on your lips and I know you also gave all of you to me. We shared deep dark secrets together, heartache and pain, smiles and laughter....nothing was left not shared, not heard or not said. We shared each other so much and that much and tears pour down when I remember every single moment with you so vividly. It's so hard to forget all of what you gave me and all of you as you left with so much to remember, to be hold in a very deep place in my soul. 

There are endless of times that I just stared into empty space and think of you and I still miss you so much. Words can't express how much I loved you but maybe you never understood the depth of it or may be you never cared enough to understand. It's strange how much happiness you gave me and in a short time how hurtingly you took them all away from me. Some times I wonder if I had loved you more and you have loved me less. Some times I wonder if I cared too much or too less and some times I wonder if you ever had loved me at all. 

Part of me will always remain with you as part of you is still with me. You and I can't forget the time we both existed in our lives or the beautiful time with endless of memories. Those magical kisses still lingers on my forehead while those silent moments dance on my mind. The giggles we shared and the stolen moments are still fresh in my soul with every single curve of your face still holds a deep place in my heart. I don't want to forget all of you my love or I don't want to forget you at all and still when I close my eyes it's you I see and your kisses I feel. Let me keep all of you with all of me and let me live with all what you gave me, cherishing every single moment I spent with you, loved you and cared for you............


pic - google

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 11:01 AM, ,

It's been a while

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It's been awhile....that I finally realize you are no longer with me or by my side as you use to be. It's been a while that I buried all your memories and try to smile again. It's been a while that I gave up crying for you to realize it was only me who kept on holding while you walked away with out looking back. And it's been a while that I have stopped visiting my past where you exist and look  on a future with the lessons you taught me.

Still....on and off you creep in my mind silently and flash back the memories of an unforgettable past. Still your name echos in my mind and stab my heart, ripping it into thousand of tiny pieces. Still the eyes damps with tiny tears which stroll down the cheeks silently. Still you are the past I keep running into to find comfort and still you are the one that keep haunting me day and night. 

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 11:35 AM, ,

By your side

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                                                    pic - Google

As I watch you by the bed side
Memories crept slowly behind
Years have passed without counts
Of a long journey of time

Staring at you silently
Noticing those little wrinkles
Bright eyes have slowly gone dull
Graceful smile have lost its shine

Was I too busy to notice
Or did I merely ignored?
Why I did,  have no clue
But I promised to slow down

As I hold your hand feeling cold
Your eyes sparkles to mine
Your kiss slowly touching my lips
With little whispers of "I love you "   

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 12:49 PM, ,

You still linger

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                                                It's not good bye - Laura Pausini


There are no words to explain how I feel or how much I miss you and often I wanted to reach for your love which is no more mine. I kept on asking my self why we found each other if we are not meant to be together and some times the answers are simple and some times they are too complicated to understand. What matters now is not the questions or answers but the time we spent together which were the most memorable and precious. It's not easy to hold my self every time I keep looking at your pictures and remember every facial expression you made when you were with me. Every time I was mad with you it was the funny faces you made which cheered me up and when I am down, it was your magical kisses which healed me up. It was your words which became my strength and it was your love which made me complete. 

I feel you made me complete and gave a dream to live on but slowly you took that dream away from me and left me lifeless. It will take a long time or never to heal this broken heart of mine but I know we never said good bye and one day or some day we will surely talk again. No words can express the depth you have sinked in my heart or how hard you have en carved your name in my soul. You are the unheard story of my life wrapped in deep with secrets of smiles.

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 12:11 PM, ,



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