A love I had , which was mine but never was mine..........
The by gone memories of youth is now have become a passing memory of age. As days months and years have gone by I silently dwell of the thoughts of a beautiful love I once had, which was mine but never was mine. A man I met accidentally but who played a part in my life all through the passing years.
It was not a love filled with miracles but a simple story of love between a man and a woman who met in an non existing world but a love which was powerful to carry through out life in extraordinary circumstances. It's a story of courage of two people who vowed to be together and it's a story of fate which they kept crossing each other's paths all along. It's a story about discovering love which at times broke up but also had the power to keep together and a love which created distances yet kept closer and a love which was in it's deepest purity.
As my weak eyes decent to the the empty skies, your picture which I have seen long time ago is still fresh as it was the first time we met. Every single detailed is finely secured with it's own beauty and I do some times wonder how you look now. The soft curls on your hair may not be there any more and with touches of grey hair , wrinkled skin and poor eyes sight you may look like what I picture of you now. How fast the decades have gone and how much things around us have changed, but through this time we have lived in each others hearts secretly. For all these years I kept writing of you, every thing I remembered and every thing I never wanted to forget. Every thing I felt for you and still feels. The magic of our love which we shared many many years ago.
The very first time I ever saw you and very first smile you gave will always be precious as you are. Every special moment we shared, every laughter, every smile and every tear which crossed our paths and the stolen moments which I kept staring at you are forever memories of your deep existence in my heart. Moments of weakness and moments of strength, showered with words of courage was all we could share. The deep longing to hold you and to be embraced in your arms became a forever dream and the miles kept us separated of decades of time. Though it was a short period of time and as silence crept between us, we drifted apart but for some reason I couldn't let you go and I held on to every single detail about us and you.
It's a many years back you slowly stepped away from my life and even you didn't admit I know it's for my own well being but what you never knew was how much I suffered in pain of loosing you but that didn't stop me of loving you or keeping you in a very sacred place in my heart. It is that love which kept me happy in all passing years and as I turn back the memory lane there's nothing I regret about you. It was meant to happen and even it's short period of time the memories I gained was endlessly beautiful. To this day I don't know how you are but as for the passing years I will keep praying for you and as long as I pray I will know that you are protected and be safe.
posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 11:33 AM,
Again it was the memories I behold very deep in my heart, memories of a love which was mine but never was mine.........It's you and us together which has created such space in my heart. It was our endless times together and sleepless nights spend in hours listening to our most loved collection of Love Songs. Every time when we were alone we kept adding songs to our collection and kept listening to them till early hours of morning and this collection became Our Love Songs.
It was not just the songs but it was the lyrics which made us listen to them as every song had a story we shared. Every song reminded us of the love we shared and who we have become. All those moments I spent with you were precious and every single second is deeply encarved in my heart. Those stolen moments which I kept looking at you for endless of times and the stolen glances of love between us and simple smiles always made our togetherness perfect. Those were our cherished moments and those are memories at heart for both of us. It was not just the our eyes which were locked through the music but our hearts as well. It was not the lyrics of the songs but notes of our hearts which synchronized together in a blissful harmony. It was our love songs which made us close from heart and soul and gathered thousand priceless moments of our love.
It's sad that those songs still bring memories of our time together and many times I have traveled through the time of pace to be with you from my mind. I have felt the love in your eyes as I captured every emotion of your face in my heart and though my life is empty with the void you left, I still listen to the Our Love Song collection and from mind and heart I spend every second of life with you. Till I live my life I will keep and value what we both held together and maybe one day we may listen to those love songs again .....And till that day I will keep listening and feeling you with me, deep down.
posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 11:39 AM,
Pics - Google
I gazed upon the moon
And silently called the stars
A smile curved my lips
As your thoughts cross my mind
I hear your silent whispers
Calling in a distance
Sending all your love
Warmly wrapped in the miles
You stole my heart piece by piece
Burning my soul for your touch
But when distance tend to keep us apart
All I do is to hold you in my heart
Even though you are not here
My love to you is true and pure
Every minute I miss you my dear
As I lock you in my embrace forever
posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 12:02 PM,
Laura Pausini - It's not good bye
As I looked far away through the tempered glass it was not the view I saw but the pain I carried in my heart. It was a hard decision but I felt it was the best I can do to save both you and me from the pain we both were facing each day. I don't exactly know how to put my words or what I feel inside but it's nothing less than a heart filled with pain of loosing some one you love. We have been each other's lives for some time and each moment was precious in it's own unique way. The laughs, the smiles and the silent moments will be the only treasured memories we'll be carrying from this day on wards.
It is indeed painful that our journey has come to an end but though I never said or showed of my hurting inner feelings which I solemnly buried inside me. We had magic between us and you may think where we went wrong and I agree. We were perfect but that was not enough. There were many times I needed you more than you realized and you were there for me but not always.......There were times I needed your care in your words but you failed to do so......There were times little things I expected you to do so but you never understood......
It is true that men and women have difference in showing love and affection but can it be so different that I feel at times I don't exists? You knew to what extend I loved you and all I asked was to be with me till the end but the end came sooner than we both expected. I kept on saying how wonderful human you are and you still is. You are a man any woman can love with ease but maybe you just forgot that women need little more care in words and actions than men. May you thought I was stronger than I seems but the truth was every time I fell I needed your strong arms around me and magical kiss on my forehead to say that all is well. Some times I wonder if you have understood my simple needs at all. Some times I feel if you truly cared for me and some times I think if I'm any worth in your life at all. Some times I feel if you took my love for granted knowing fully well that my love never had boundaries for you. Some times I wonder if your love was stronger or powerful as mine and some times I wonder if you truly loved me at all.
It is painful specially when we have so many locked memories and even though we are not together these memories will keep each of us alive in heart every single day. This is not good bye as there's no good bye for us and our love can't be ended but this is going our separate ways silently wishing and praying for each other every single day .
posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 12:09 PM,
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Facebook - the most popular social network
in the world of cyber is now trolling it's way to danger with the newcomers , specially with teenagers. Facebook currently limits it's age from 13 upwards , but children in the ages of 10 - 12 have Facebook accounts exposing themselves to strangers and posting posts which may not be very innocent to catch the attention of a predator. This is mostly not aware to children or to any young new comer who have no experience in this so popular social network and very easily these youngsters falls into the trap of predators on Facebook and the most worst situation occurs that may bring life time traumas to that innocent child.
Social networking sites allow members to create individualized pages that often include personal information such as relationship status, age, city of residence and birth date, as well as photos, videos and personal comments. Social networking also makes children the target of cruel jokes from their peers, cyber-bullying and crude language in general. While you still cannot get into an R-rated movie if you are under 17, you can hardly help running across sexually explicit language, photos and videos through Facebook.
posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 11:38 AM,
Pic - Google
Some hearts are broken and mended, others are shattered and torn, although it was never intended, for love is eternally sworn, I've cried and prayed and pleaded, for love to hold it's ground, hope was all I needed and pain was all I found.
When I was a kid I used to think being in love was something magical, something special. But when I fell for you all my expectations of love shattered. I thought you loved me, you said you loved me, but now you'r leaving me for someone else. This is not the fairy tale story I wanted. I loved you, I still do, but now I'm brokenhearted, I let you in, I gave you my all, but you just played with my heart, you lied. You said we'd always be together, you promised we'd always be together and you slowly walked away laving me helpless.
I know there are some things we can't change. I know there are some situations where apologies hold no bearings. I know that twists of fate bring people together, and sometimes everything happens for a reason can tear them apart. I know that I will never forget you, for you will always have a place in my heart. Sometimes I wish I never became so close to you, that way it wouldn't be as hard saying goodbye.
Promises are meant to be broken, the truth is hard to find, dreams are put aside for a chance to love, but even that was a lie. Now my heart is broken and I don't know who to trust, you can believe in me, look into my eyes, I will be here for you, stay strong , stay true. The future is bright we can do anything just me and you is all I believed but how quickly you shattered all my dreams so heartlessly.
No matter how many times I tell myself I'm over you, I always still find myself thinking about you...I hide my tears when I say your name, but the pain in my heart is still the same. Although I smile and seem care free, there is no one who misses you...more than me. I'm completely out of words about how I feel about you.. I don't even know why I still love you knowing that you have already broken my heart a hundred times and yet, I am still deeply in love with hope that you'll soon realize how much I really love you and that you'll feel the same way about me too.
Ones upon a time I gave you my heart and now it's in pieces and you're no longer around. I know you don't deserve me anymore but I just can't let you go. All those moments we shared will always stay in my heart. Now I'm sitting here all alone staring at the pictures we once took wishing you were here with me, but I know you won't come back and that's what hurts the most.......
posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 11:42 AM,
On this day, you read something that moved you and made you realize there were no more fears to fear, no tears to cry, no head to hang in shame. That every time you thought you’d offended someone, it was all just in your head and really, they love you with all their heart and nothing will ever change that. That everyone and everything lives on inside you. That that doesn't make any of it any less real.
That soft touches will change you and stay with you longer than hard ones.
That being alone means you’re free. That old lovers miss you and new lovers want you and the one you’re with is the one you’re meant to be with. That the tingles running down your arms are angel feathers and they whisper in your ear, constantly, if you choose to hear them. That everything you want to happen, will happen, if you decide you want it enough. That every time you think a sad thought, you can think a happy one instead. That you control that completely.
That the people who make you laugh are more beautiful than the beautiful people. That you laugh more than you cry. That crying is good for you. That the people you love wish you would stop and you do too.
That your friends are reflections of the best parts of you. That you are more than the sum total of the things you know and how you react to them. That dancing is sometimes more important than listening to the music.
That the most embarrassing, awkward moments of your life are only remembered by you and no one else. That no one judges you when you walk into a room and all they really want to know, is if you’re judging them. That what you make and what you do with your time is more important than you’ll ever fathom and should be treated as such. That the difference between a job and art is passion. That neither defines who you are. That talking to strangers is how you make friends.
That bad days end but a smile can go around the world. That life contradicts itself, constantly. That that’s why it’s worth living.
That the difference between pain and love is time. That love is only as real as you want it to be. That if you feel good, you look good but it doesn't always work the other way around.
That the sun will rise each day and it’s up to you each day if you match it. That nothing matters up until this point. That what you decide now, in this moment, will change the future. Forever. That rain is beautiful, only you have to feel it. Every thought, every words every feeling in you is beautiful .....Only you have to see it through.
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.........JUST BELIEVE
posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 11:27 AM,