Sajini Chandrasekera

this is where I am at

Birth of my new baby

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For nearly 3 years I have been conceived with thoughts which I nurture with words and carried in the womb of my soul which I loved and took care of, finally made its way to the world as an eBook which is available on Amazon now.

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 11:54 AM, ,

A dark corner

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It's strange that my words have gone silent and my emotions feel empty for you. No more long love notes or burning desires to be with you or the sweet magical kisses and those stolen moments of love. I feel I have loved some one who never valued my love or respected my feelings and in all those long moments, have just ended up being a far away memory. 

Your existence in my life is a mixture of unexplained feelings and emotions and with a broken heart, I realized now that it was me who held for so long when you have already left my life. I held on because I loved you but I never realized that you were not who I deserved. I loved all of you and all of your imperfections and I loved you without boundaries and without expectations. You failed to understand this innocent love of mine or my feelings towards you. 

Your actions and words kept pushing me to a corner which I slowly realized was lonely, dark and broken, a place where you don't exist, a corner where I began to find peace and less hurt. A corner which I felt was mine. A corner where pain was less and tears didn't flow as rapidly as it did. Looking back now I have understood that you were a season and a lesson both. For a short time you gave me a beautiful love to dwell on and memories to take a life time and period to smile. but above all you taught me that only few people will love you back the way you love them and only few would understand that and only some one who really loved would never let go of you, no matter how hard the situation is......

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 9:50 AM, ,

Gift of love

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A simple smile curved on my lips as I thought of you. Some times life brings surprises when we least expect and to me you were the greatest of them all. I never plan on falling in love with you, and I doubt if you planned on falling in love with me. But once we met, it was clear that neither of us could control what was happening to us. We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has happened only once and that’s why every minute we spent together has been sacred  in my memory. I’ll never forget a single moment of it and still every word you said to me is lingered very deep in my heart. 

I still don't know what made my heart stopped at you. Was it your words, or your kindness or was it the dazzling smile or was just you....Maybe it was none of them or maybe it was all of them and what matters is how strong and powerful the bond was........I always believed that finding a partner was easy, but finding a soul mate who synchronize the beat of the heart, who hear the silent notes of the music played in every breath is difficult and though with more differences, we found each other in an unusual way and I still believe it was meant to be...We were meant to meet in this life , not because we love but because we were chosen to and because we are destined by an unseen force above............

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 7:59 AM, ,

Fragrant Memories

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                                            Photo credits - Riaz Khan

As the dusky night rides down the sky with little diamonds glowing far away,with the silence embracing my heart while my mind was lost as I stared into the little perfume bottle tightly held in my hands. I can't remember how long I stared into this little bottle which had power to open my wounds, still ache deep and which was never healed. Every time I hold this, it reminds me of you.... your smiles, your laughter, your love and mostly you. I remember the day you gave me this perfume bottle with a kiss in my lips, and the sweet nectar of words you whispered  but I never knew that this gift will be such a precious memory of you, I never thought that my heart will ache one day by just holding it and I never thought that you would walk away leaving me alone in my own world. 

There was never a single day I lived without thinking of you and not a single night I kissed your lips and caressed your body in my dreams....not a single moment I forgot you and how you made me feel but today tears run down my cheeks as I behold this little bottle and the few drops of it remain in my hand. I have always loved the fragrance of this liquid and memories of your warm lips on my neck as you take its aroma into your nostrils deep, are still a vivid memory in heart. Ever since you departed from my world, I have used this fragrance only on special occasions as this perfume always reminds me that you are with me, unseen, unheard and untouched ......but deep within you are with and part of me and always be. 

You have embraced my life with endless perfumed thoughts and fragrant memories which I hold dearly to my self. You have enchanted my life with your love which I would cherish with memories of you. My heart is filled with little moments of you, moments I never can let go of .....just like this little bottle I hold dearly as it's precious to me as you are. I have struggle so hard to move on, but my aching heart still hold on to the past we shared  and this little gift will be by my side as your love, your warmth is still with this gift you gave me long ago..............

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 12:30 PM, ,

Silently for you

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I smiled ......My eyes have always wandered in search of you and after a long wait of patience my eyes found you and the joy I felt just being to be lost in your presence was more than I could put into words. My eyes froze with yours, as your lips curved a beautiful smile, while our hearts touched each other's silently. As you clasped your hand with mine, holding tight and whispering softly, it was the methodical  music of love I heard. Every word embraced with love, with eyes full of desire.
It was a beautiful time together, filled with smiles, laughs and memories. As I laid my head on your chest listening to the silent of your breaths, hearing the beating of your heart and feeling the softness of your fingers dancing on my hair. I closed my eyes to feel every single moment we are together and mostly to feel your love for me.
Love, we found was eternal as we are bonded with a soul relation and even with little arguments, misunderstandings, and long silences we have struggled through all obstacle to come this long short journey. I never knew that I could love you this much or my little heart can take all the love you give. You loved me with all my imperfections and all my curves and through the time we reaped a deep understanding, we matured our love in simple ways which made this bond even stronger.
To day as I look back the path we have come, I'm happy that we have become our strength and  encouragement from you is all I need to jump all the puddles and your love is my strength to face the hurdles without fear. There are so many things I want to say when I look in you, but I have saved all those words for you to understand silently.
Thank you my love for loving me and tolerating my madness with you, thank you for understanding me without judgment and mostly thank you for choosing me to share your life and I promise you to love even more than you ever loved me....... 

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 11:58 AM, ,

Me and you

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After a long time I heard your voice and the smiles made me think of the love I have for you. I believe we all have soul mates in life and sooner or later we cross our paths to experience a journey of love together.  Some times I have no words to express my feelings to you or words to express the depth of my love but I know many times the silence it self has made you feel every thing I ever wanted you to know. Its not always people find soul relations, where you can love from the deepest core of your heart with out lust and we together have proved that  purest of love exist in heart  and not in physical relations. Your voice still bring the melody to my ears and your laughter is the music of my heart. Your words still beat my heart and your love has engulf its beauty to every cell in my body.
I thank God that we have crossed our paths and making me finding the most amazing man to love. From the very first day I met you, I knew you were the one I searched for and being with you made me find my own self......You were my greatest strength and you were my weakness, you were my smiles and my tears and were all of me and I was all of you and together we were a one.
Love can't be searched for  only love will find you when the time is right and you entered my life when I was not looking and having you and making you part of my life has bought all the smiles I once lost...

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 12:19 PM, ,

If wishes came true

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I love no one but you, and you know that very well, but you are far away and I am here alone in my own little world. Then this is my life and maybe, however unlikely, I’ll find my way back to the place I once belonged, or maybe, one day, I’ll settle for what's meant to be.....

I still weeps for you late at night, when sleep does not come easily, when my pillow gets wet with the pouring rivers of my pain. It weeps for the one I miss. It weeps for the dreams on the tips of your fingers. It weeps for appointments missed and it weeps for the smiles we shared once. It weeps for the silence and it weeps for the noise. It weeps for the little love notes you wrote to me once, secret words were spoken as close to your ear as possible. It weeps for betrayal, intended or not. It weeps for the friends you once were. It weeps for the colors faded. It weeps for sunrise and it weeps for the glowing moon. It weeps for the long forgotten stolen moments and the unforgettable magical kisses. It weeps for who we were and who were are and for all the little memories that haunt day and night yet too far to embrace. It weeps for the last time you touched. It weeps for words that can never be taken back. It weeps so hard and so much and so often as  you carry on and It weeps for you. When you have run out of weeping you just remain a memory....A memory that I will be hold in deep in my heart, in a place unforgotten and sacred, some where deep where you will always remain untouched.  

Wish you were here. Wish I was there. Wish it was different. Wish wishes came true.
I'd wish you back.

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 11:23 AM, ,

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