Sajini Chandrasekera

this is where I am at

As years gone by

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As the dim rays of moon angel and the twinkles of little stars above with the gentle breeze silently swipes in, was a rare moment and it was after a long time that you laid your head on my chest softly for a endless of time. As my fingers played with your soft curls and echos of your simple breaths as we shared a perfect silence. It was a long silence of love and every second was a memory of our journey together. 

After a long time I watched you sleeping in peace, arms wrapped around me and every single breath was warmth to my skin. Years have gone by with out notice and after a very long time I watched you closely. As my eyes wandered through your face noticing the little wrinkles which has taken it's place with out my notice and the little grey hairs have taken a full toll......Was life busy for me to notice, I wondered now.

As my fingers played with your hair, my thoughts were carried down the memory lane and how much have changed through the years. It's true that we were never the perfect couple but with our imperfections we began to find our own selves and above all we learnt to love each other. There were many times we hit the bottom, yet together we manage to stumble up stronger and together. Marriage is not running out when the going gets tough, it's about hanging on and facing the storm and I'm glad that we did that together. 

Though years have gone and we both wrinkled down, I still see the spark in your eyes and still feel your love to me. Little kisses are a gentle reminder that I'm still yours and you, mine. All the years were precious and all moments were dearly held in heart. Every pitfall was over strength and every smile was our blessings. We have crossed many hurdles and yet many more to come and together, I know we can. 

As I smiled looking at you and holding you, I don't regret being with you and loving you. I still love the little cuddles you embrace me with and the little whispers which you silently moans into my ear. I love the way you hold my hand and little secret kisses we steal time to time have become my favorites. This long journey may have more hurdles for us and with you I am stronger to face them and may we have more blissful years to come .......... 

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 12:06 PM, ,

Silently ...for you

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                                                           John  Legend - All of me

I smiled ......My eyes have always wandered in search of you and after a long wait of patience my eyes found you and the joy I felt just being to be lost in your presence was more than I could put into words. My eyes froze with yours, as your lips curved a beautiful smile, while our hearts touched each other's silently. As you clasped your hand with mine, holding tight and whispering softly, it was the melodic music of love I heard. Every word embraced with love, with eyes full of desire.
It was a beautiful time together, filled with smiles, laughs and memories. As I laid my head on your chest listening to the silent of your breaths, hearing the beating of your heart and feeling the softness of your fingers dancing on my hair. I closed my eyes to feel every single moment we are together and mostly to feel your love for me.
Love, we found was eternal as we are bonded with a soul relation and even with little arguments, misunderstandings, and long silences we have struggled through all obstacle to come this long little journey. I never knew that I could love you this much or my little heart can take all the love you give. You loved me with all my imperfections and all my curves and through the time we reaped a deep understanding, we matured our love in simple ways which made this bond even stronger.
To day as I look back the path we have come, I'm happy that we have become our strength and every encouraging from you is all I need to jump all the puddles and your love is my strength to face the hurdles with out fear. There are so many things I want to say when I look in you, but I have saved all those words for you to understand silently.
Thank you my love for loving me and tolerating my madness with you, thank you for understanding me with out judgment and mostly thank you for choosing me to share your life and I promise you to love even more you ever loved me....... 

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 12:29 PM, ,

Silent pledge

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                                 Pic - Google

Some hearts are broken and mended, others are shattered and torn, although it was never intended, for love is eternally sworn, I've cried and prayed and pleaded, for love to hold it's ground, hope was all I needed and pain was all I found.

When I was a kid I used to think being in love was something magical, something special. But when I fell for you all my expectations of love shattered. I thought you loved me, you said you loved me, but now you are leaving me for my own good. This is not the fairy tale story I wanted. I loved you, I still do, but now I'm brokenhearted, I let you in, I gave you my all, but despise them all you walked away. You said we'd always be together, and you promised ......

I know there are some things you can't change. I know there are some situations where apologies hold no bearings. I know that twists of fate bring people together, and sometimes everything happens for a reason that can tear them apart. I know, that I will never forget you, for you will always have a place in my heart

I gave you my heart trusting of not hurting.....Now it's in pieces and you're no longer around. I know you don't deserve me anymore but I just can't let you go...All those silent moments we shared will always stay in my heart. Now I'm sitting here all alone staring at your pictures which I treasure so much wishing you were here with me, but I know you won't come back and that's what hurts the most. 

I hide my tears when I say your name, but the pain in my heart is still the same. Although I smile and seem carefree, there is no one who misses you...more than me. Sometimes I wish I never became so close to you, that way it wouldn't be as hard saying goodbye. 

I'm completely out of words about how I feel about you.. I don't even know why I still love you knowing that you have already broken my heart a hundred times and yet, I am still deeply in love with hope that you'll soon realize how much I really love you and that you'll feel the same way about me too. No matter how many times I tell myself I'm over you, I always still find myself thinking about you and I'll wait all my life loving you silently and waiting for you to come to me again.

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 12:42 PM, ,

Through my window

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                                  Pic - Google

As I looked at the full moon through my window,  the beauty and the glow and the little stars surrounding swiped out all my emotions with the memory of you and my heart felt an unbearable  pain. As the eyes poured the pain in tears, helplessly I walked back to the past which don't belong to me or us anymore.....

Through tears I smiled as even for a short period you loved me, you truly loved me and I knew that. I loved you so dearly and you felt that. I held on to you tightly thinking I belong there, forever but I was wrong. You never belong to me or we to us, we belonged only to a time in our life which is unforgettable in our whole life. Every little scar has left with an untold story to the world but to you and me every scar is a mark of our love and our time together. 

I wish I could still bury my head on your chest for a long moment while I felt your fingers dancing on my hair. As I close my eyes to search your love in silence. For hours we had stayed in each others arms listening to music which we share together. Each song has our story and every lyric made us remind who we are. As your lips gently touch mine, I knew that my heart would never stop at another man ever again and yet they are all lost in just a memory. All the magical touches you have left me with is all that will remain of you and I still look over my window and the stars above thinking that you will walk back to me one day.....

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 11:00 AM, ,

It must have been love

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                                 Roxette - It must have been love

In the darkest hours of the nights with the deepest of emotions, I lay awake thinking of you.......tears rolling down my cheeks and wetting my pillow as all my heartache and my soul bleeds to death. Though I keep saying that I'm letting you go, I have found that its a lie I cheat my self on. Every single minute is haunted  by your memories and every memory has your significance in my heart.    

It's hard to close the doors of the past and it's harder to look ahead when the scars still bleed to ache but I keep on looking back on whats left of you in my life. Every time I hear your name, or every time my heart tempt to look into your pictures, memories flash back so fast that I close my eyes just to hold my self. Every time you cross my mind, I battle within my self to hold back my tears which keeps pouring down with just a flicker of thought on you. 

I miss all the little things we did together, I miss all the jokes and happy times with the stolen moments and magical kisses and the frozen memories ...I miss all you gave and all I had...I miss your smile and words and mostly I miss you my love. I know my tears or my words would not bring you back but though you moved on forgetting me, I'm still where you left me.....hurt, broken and lost

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 11:10 AM, ,

Weeping tears

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I love no one but you, and you know that very well, but you are far away and I am here alone in my own little world. Then this is my life and maybe, however unlikely, I’ll find my way back to the place I once belonged, or maybe, one day, I’ll settle for what's meant to be.....

I still weeps for you late at night, when sleep does not come easily, when my pillow gets wet with the pouring rivers of my pain. It weeps for the one I miss. It weeps for the dreams on the tips of your fingers. It weeps for appointments missed and it weeps for the smiles we shared once. It weeps for the silence and it weeps for the noise. It weeps for the little love notes you wrote to me once, secret words were spoken as close to your ear as possible. It weeps for betrayal, intended or not. It weeps for the friends you once were. It weeps for the colors faded. It weeps for sunrise and it weeps for the glowing moon. It weeps for the long forgotten stolen moments and the unforgettable magical kisses. It weeps for who we were and who were are and for all the little memories that haunt day and night yet too far to embrace. It weeps for the last time you touched. It weeps for words that can never be taken back. It weeps so hard and so much and so often. So you don't have to. So you can carry on. It weeps for you. When you have run out of weeping you just remain a memory....A memory that I will be hold in deep in my heart, in a place unforgotten and sacred, some where deep where you will always remain untouched.  

Wish you were here. Wish I was there. Wish it was different. Wish wishes came true.
I'd wish you back.

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 11:41 AM, ,

Missing moments

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                                pic- Google

Here feeling so down
Not having you around
With aching heart I wander
To embrace you in my arms

My heart aches when I don't see you
My heart waits for words from you
Remembering your smile all the time
I miss you so this time

I love you more and more each day
Hope you know how my heart aches
Miss you and your words each day
Even your absence, I feel you near

I miss you more than words can say 
Every minute feel like so long
I want to hide my self in your love 
Don't wanna miss you even for a while 

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 11:51 AM, ,

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