Sajini Chandrasekera

this is where I am at

Broken promises

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Some times it's so hard to put feelings on pain into words yet I stumble to write this little note to you. It's never easy to walk down the memory lane full of memories filled with love and happiness and to face the reality of truth to know it all have ended and I don't even know the reasons behind your sudden departure. It's hard to stop the tears as I remember every word, every expression and every smile of you, every little thing I do, you have left your existence for me to hold you deep. I dwell in those beautiful memories you left me with, holding my pain in them, dreading for your love and you  back in my life. I know that you have left me alone to cry, you have left me into shattered of thousand pieces  I will never be able to stand again, never be able to see the world clearly or would never ever be able to love another. You took me to a place where I reached the highest form of happiness and love.  You said I belong to you and only you and you promised to be with me as long as we can be together, but with out a word you left into silence. I wish only you have given me the reasons for leaving but you gave me precious memories to keep in my heart till my last breath. 

I never had the chance to thank you for all the wonderful things you have done for me and for all the little things you did which made life beautiful. Thank you for all the beautiful stolen moments and the magical kisses which healed all wounds in life. Thank you for the smiles you gave and the jokes you shared. Thank you for the little arguments which gave lessons in life. Thank you for spending time with me and taking care of me and mostly thank you for a beautiful friendship and loving me with all you can. 

It's hard to let go of some one I loved so much but some times we have to let go of beautiful relations just to make the other happy. Our love story is short but rare and beautiful. It was a soul relation only we silently understood, it was God's wish that we should meet despise of all obstacles  but it was your wish to walk out leaving me in a place where I was lost. Why did you walk all these months if you never wanted be part of this journey?  I have thousand questions to ask but I know this silence is the best for both of us. Which ever path you take be happy and as always my prayers will be for you. Where ever you are I will be silently watching you and when ever you need me I will be where you left me......waiting for you.

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 2:13 PM, ,

Pouring pain

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Painful tears spun from my broken heart
As I never thought we'll be apart
You held me close as forever
Now you gone as for never

Your loving words crept through from your eyes
And that was a cold hearted lie
Your magical kiss and caring touch
And your smile I miss them so 

I think of all the bygone memories
And of those secret moments I stole
I cry then and I cry now 
Because it's true that I loved you so

They say love is blind 
But for me it was only you in mind
A wound cut so deep and so much
But time will heal and the scar will remain. 

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 12:10 PM, ,

Bitter sweet memories

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                                Photo credits -  Nadeem Dar's Photography

I'm holding on to the things we did, and all that we were together, but slowly day by day you slip away, till there's nothing more to hold onto and the thoughts of you come less and less, and finally all you are a bittersweet memory if what could have been

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 1:14 AM, ,

Silent hope

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                                Photo credits -  Riaz Khan

Life is full of hope and always have some thing to look forward to. Make some thing up right now. Some thing you want to do, some place you want to be, some one you want to meet.
And look forward for it......

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 11:55 AM, ,

Coin of choicess

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When you are at the top remember what it felt like to be at the bottom. When you are at the bottom remember what it felt like to be at the top.

Good doesn't last forever. Neither does bad. 

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 5:30 PM, ,

Endless love

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It's one of those gloomy days which I'm wrapped in cloud of emotional pain and every minute my mind runs to you to be embraced in your arms and to be hold tightly with a kiss saying that all is well. I wanted you so much with me, just to hold me but you were miles away from a place I didn't exist. I was battling with my tears and pain and silently wanted to come for you but fear stopped me reaching you. 

Most of our time we spent talking about nothing but I want to let you know that all those nothings have meant so much more than so many some things and still those beautiful memories of you haunt me day and night. So many sleepless nights have gone by thinking of you and yet so many nights will come where I'll loose my sleep with the lingering smiles of you which have en carved in my heart so deeply. You once told me that Love is beautiful and love don't hurt only people in love do, and these words dance on my mind when I think that you are doing the same now...hurting my heart, mind and soul. You are the only man who have the power to make me smile and cry. The only one who have the power to hurt me and sooth me. 

Love is test of patience but my patience have no boundaries when it comes to you. The undying desire to be with you and hold you is beyond your imagination and the hope of seeing you soon is greater than the patience of love I have. Your unspoken words of silence is becoming unbearable each day and it's only God above who knows how much it hurts me, how much tears I've shed and how much I miss being with you. There were times things were hard and I needed a shoulder to cry, there were times I felt hurt and needed your loving words and there were silent moments I just wanted you to hold me and only if you knew how much I suffer ....for you and your love.

The shadow of you always exist in my soul and every day this shadow gets longer and stronger in my life. I cling on to your existence strongly knowing the magical love we share is one of the most rarest and strongest any one can ever relate. 

I close my eyes and feelings flood through my veins, my tears fall creating wounds on my skin, bleeding the pain of this impossible love, because when I scream your name there is no answer, only the silence of the waves and the echo of my voice. For the many wounds caused by these tears I cry endlessly to show you that I loved you, I love you and will always love you.  

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 1:10 PM, ,

Joys of tomorrow

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                                Photo credits - Riaz Khan

The biggest scars in life is always unseen and unremembered but they were the ones which hurted deep inside one, which ached with pain and simmered with tears. But now those scars are unseen as you slowly brought back the smiles you once  lost. Pain is also part of journey in life but what matters is how strong you get up once you are knocked down.

Slowly listen to the sound of silence in you and the awakening thoughts in your heart, realize what you want and slowly reach out to achieve it. Forget the scars which once hurted you, buried them in a very deep place in your soul where you can't reach and look for the joys of tomorrow..

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 12:30 PM, ,

As you walk

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                                photo credits - Riaz Khan

As you walk down the life journey walk and pick things up along the way. Nothing too heavy or nothing too light. Weight each of them against your soul and if it measure up take it along. If it makes you unhappy,sad or weary or loose it significance leave it behind for another to pick up.

Keep only which you need, which you require and which you want to make you happy. 

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 9:21 PM, ,

Dawn of the soul

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  Photo credits - Riaz Khan

Every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day.

Finding the good in each day isn't always the easiest thing to do, but it is necessary to do so that we may take full advantage of our waking lives. People who are the most grateful tend to be the ones with the most happiness filled inside. On your quest to live a life full of joy, you must be able discern situations and look for solutions more than problems, and for good more than bad. Don't let fear and uncertainty distract you from what your life is, and what your life could be, see the good in each day and make your life yours. If you woke up this morning with more health than illness, then you are blessed than thousands of people who can't survive the week. If you have never experienced the danger of a battle, loneliness of imprisonment, agony of torture or the hard pangs of starvation then you are ahead of 20 million people in this world. If you have food to take, clothes to wear and a roof to protect you , then you are richer than 75% of this world. If you are filled with people who love and motivate you then with out doubt you the blessed of all. Don't let life disappoint you, don't let life discourage you, remember that every one who got where he is had to begin from where he was. In every life difficulties arouse and they are never meant to discourage but to make you strong at every hurdle. Ever day wake up with the belief that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact. Out of your vulnerabilities will come your strength and they will guide you in every step of life. Feelings are much like waves, we can't stop them from coming but we can choose which one to surf. Happiness is where we find it but rarely seek it. Some time in life we loose every thing but remember the future still remains. Once in a while our eyes need to be washed so we be able to see things more clearly. Always do what you can with what you have and where you are. Don't be afraid of storms just learn to sail your ship of life to the destination with out fear. You can't have a better tomorrow if you dwell in your past, so learn to let go. Hold fast to your dreams for if dreams die life is a broken ship. Just don't give up where there's love and inspiration , coz you can't go wrong at all. Nothing is impossible to a willing heart. Success is not final, failure is not fatal, it is courage to continue that counts. Make the most of your self ....that is all there of you.

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 12:13 PM, ,

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