Sajini Chandrasekera

this is where I am at

faded memories

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I gazed upon the night sky to see the twinkle of the shinning stars. How quite and silent every thing is around me. I miss your laughter and your whispers and I just sit to dwell those memories of us. My heart is lonely and blue and aching with memories of you. I miss your touch and your kisses and I feel like that my whole life has come to an end. Every time I close my eyes, it's you I see.....and your smile I keep looking with teary closed eyes. 

Why was it so hard to let you go? I knew you never belong to me or never will, yet deep inside I felt you were mine.....only mine. It was so easy to love you and that simple charm in you attracted me and locked me inside your arms. There were many times I kept my head on your chest and closed my eyes, and I must have been like that for hours, just thinking of you and me together.  It was dream .....and only a dream. 

You belong to some one else, yet I didn't mind when I fell for you. I didn't mind the differences we had or the distance we have or any other. I didn't see anything else except you and your loving gentle heart. Your smiles brighten my days while your words ponder my heart. I kept thinking that you were a gift from God above, a gift which was rare but beautiful. I wanted you to be by my side, to hold me and to guide me. I wanted you to protect me and keep me under your wings for ever, but deep inside we both knew that one day we have to choose different paths. You always argued when I talked of quitting and that made me feel your love more. I didn't wanted to quit, I didn't wanted to give the most precious treasure in my life and even the thought of you leaving me always made me fragile in heart. 

But the day to depart came faster than we thought and for your own sake, for your own happiness I had to let you go from all ties I had for all these days, months and years. It was so hard to say good bye with a smile but yet I played strong for your own sake. I wanted you to hate me , forget me and to erase all traces of my existence in your life. My whole world stopped when you slowly walked away from me. I watched you go from my life, I watched you fade away with tears pouring  down my cheeks. I screamed why life was cruel to take you away from me, I cursed my self for not being more worth for you. I hated every thing around me and all I wanted was peace and silence. I dwell in our memories, I dwell in the places we embraced our selves as lovers, and the silent stolen moments we both secretly shared. 

How can I live with this pain of loosing you ? But I must, not for me but for your sake. Every day I pray for your safety and for your happiness and it has become a daily routine. I live only because I want God to protect you and I hope my silent prayers will give you peace in life. I still love you more than I ever did and the void that you created in my life will always remind of you and till my last breath I will keep on  loving you.......

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 6:47 PM,


At April 17, 2013 at 8:52 PM, Anonymous Kausar Bilal said...

Hmmm...complicated game of love.
Anyway, life never stops and we move on sooner or later.


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