Sajini Chandrasekera

this is where I am at

Memories of beauty

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                             Photo credits - Nadeem Dar's Photography

Every thing around us is beautiful, and if you find that they are not remember this moment and capture it in heart right now when they are.You have to hold up to each and every other moment when the things are beautiful and say 
'' Look I told you, remember this '' 

This moment will never come again even if it comes it will never be the same. The memories will never be the same and it will make you realize how beautiful the moment was.

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 12:49 PM, ,

Beyond silence

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As I was looking out of the window into the gloomy skies and my thoughts suddenly crossed it's barriers and swam thousand hours of my past...our past. You were the most beautiful woman I ever laid my eyes on and the only woman I ever wanted. Life was not perfect , but with you beside me I gained strength to jump all hurdles of life. Your love, your words, your blessings was all I ever needed and with you I thought all impossibilities was just a step away of making possibility but it took very little time to change every thing around me.
Every day you changed into a person I never knew. Your demands were more than I can fulfill and your words became harsh and you became a stranger in my life. It's true I wanted to give you every thing you needed but I needed time for that and I understood why you are acting strange but just wished you understood me as well. Every minute, I worked hard not for my self but for you, to make your life more comfortable and you happy but you didn't have patience to wait till I succeeded. You didn't slow down with me or wanted to be with me. Your every word hurted me deeply and your actions became unbearable and finally one morning you left. It was the most hardest day of my life and to see the woman I loved so much just walked away without even looking back. If only you know how I cried for you, how I lost my self and how painful it was.  For months I was where you left me and it took a long time to recover my self from the coma of you but slowly I gained courage to face the world and step by step I built my self. It was a hard journey and many times I stumbled down and wished you were there to hold me but you existed only in my dreams.
Silently years have gone by and I have reached success which was once a dream to achieve and today I have every thing around me except you and I have become mature enough to forgive you and let my past be behind closed doors. I have understood the only thing I can do now is to pray for you and let you go from my memories. Time has healed my wounds and the scars do remain but I'm strong enough to let go of the memories which haunted me for long. I have learnt that who walked away in the dark should be forgotten in the light and as I have reached the heights of life beyond silence and some times we let go of someone we really love… not because we want them to be happy but because it’s much painful for us to see them how much they want to go.
The things I have learnt about life is that we all get hurt at some point. We all have emotional nights and cry our self to sleep for hours. You are going to suffer some kind of heart break and some kind of a loss, but you will also have to those moments where you heal and to me those moments were the best. After every thing I went through I smiled as I smiled for the first time again. I felt I was alive again and life has just restarted and this what made who I am beyond silence.

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 12:37 PM, ,

Secret notes for only you

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                                Diana Ross ~~ When You Tell Me That You Love Me  


This undying whispers which echo in my heart is beating only for you and every word, every feeling I put down come only for you. The silent secrets I yield to scream are only for you. The pouring of tears which has ripped the cores of my heart are only for you. The glaciers of ice which has frozen upon my mind with the undying thoughts and memories are only for you. The seized pains which cross my soul remembers of the smiles which you give now have taken my smiles leaving me in agony of my undying love for you. 

I promised an eternity for you and I still do . I promised waiting and I still do . I promised praying and I still do. I promised to kiss you in dreams and I still do. I promised every thing which I still do. But the silent pain I carry hiding to the world is some times beyond the words of my whispers and only you will understand the person I am today with out you beside me. Only you will understand the deep meaning of each and every word I put down and it will be only your heart which would cry on these silent notes. 

Only you will remember the lingering notes to each of these words and secrets we pondered together. Only you can bring the memories of those stolen moments and it's only you who knows the power of the magical kiss we use to share. It's only you who knows the reasons for these words and it is only you who would silently cry as the memories recall. 

I wrote this only for you my love, only for your heart to understand and your mind to feel, while your soul have embraced every word I wrote for you. There were many secrets we shared and even in middle of thousands, only us together would understand what we meant and this whispers are only for you, just for you and forever for you.........

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 12:45 PM, ,

Patience of time

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The next few weeks are going to be a test of our love and before I say my good bye I thought of gathering my feelings into words, just to let you know that no matter the silence between us that I'll be here waiting for you. Words would never perfect to express my inner feelings for you but this is just a little effort to let you know of my love to you.

I promise to lift you up every time you are feeling down and promise to wipe your tears, when you feel you need to cry. I promise that I will do my best to keep that smile on you for ever and to be your strength at every stage of weakness. I promise to be your voice when you can't find words and your ears when you can't hear the silence of life. I promise to be honest and tell you every truth when you are in doubt and promise you help you catch your dreams and chase away every fear.I promise you be your smile when you are frowning and cheer you up every time you are down. I promise to give you faith every time you feel insure. I promise to guard you when you are feeling unsafe and to listen every time you want to talk. I promise to tell no lies and always what is true and to lend you a shoulder every time you need to cry. I promise always to hold you when you need some one and to care always when you need it the most. I promise never to hurt you or break your heart and I promise you that I'll always be there.

I can't promise you the world, sun ,moon or stars and I can't promise you that we will never fight. I can't promise you that I will never cry and I'll never dream of you. I can't promise you that I'll never be broke and things will always be fine. All I can promise my love, is I'll be with you in every hurdle, in every pain and in every tear. I promise to love you with all my heart despise what we go through and I promise to love you till the end of time.

Let me kiss you good bye and gain strength to survive till you come back with silent prayers for your safely and happiness. May these few weeks give us both patience to hold on of deep emotional feelings of the magical love we share. Every night my prayers will reach you to give you courage that I'm thinking of you and impatiently waiting for you to return back to my arms again ...

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 4:27 PM, ,

Lonely nights

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I was alone and it's a lonely day and deep inside I was missing you. Missing your love and the man in you. It's going to be a long wait for me to see you till you return from your journey and it's been few hours yet and I'm already broken deep inside. The day before your journey I looked into your eyes and said '' just let me look at you coz for the next 2 weeks I'll die'' and you kept starring at me for a while. You slowly wiped away my tears and said  '' your feelings are making me feel that I should not go'' , and those words from you made me love you more and I insisted that you should take this journey as it was important for you....

It's strange how we have got so close in such a little pace of time. How we understand each other and support each other to be the best of us. It's strange how we both sing the same melodies and alone understand the deep meaning of ourselves. It is strange how our hearts synchronized together in harmony of love and it is strange how two strangers in an unknown path meet together to take a life time relation to an unknown destination. 

My heart ache of missing you but your love will keep me strong to survive these days and my silent prayers will keep you safe from all danger through out. You constantly cross my mind and my eyes fill with tears but I know it's the same for you too. Your eyes silently told me the pain you secretly buried in your heart and your smile simply vanished as we said our good byes. I know you acted strong for me as you know how emotional I get for you and your last kiss on my forehead lingered me with feelings of love and protection.

I'm silently waiting for you to come and take me into your arms again. I'm silently waiting for you to cuddle me in your arms and to hold me tight. I'm silently waiting for these long days to be ended soon and I'm silently waiting with prayer in heart for God to protect my love to come back to me again ....

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 12:36 PM, ,

A blissful night

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Under the bliss of a starry night we met and the moment our eyes locked, our hearts embraced with it's own uniqueness which reveals the secret melody of  two souls who destined in one lifetime journey of love and trust. It was not just another night for us but a beautiful night which we would remember all our lives. We smiled and laughed and shared little jokes as we always did and in every word, every moment I felt your love towards me. 

As I lay my head upon your chest listening to the crashing sea waves far about, it was a moment we both were left in our own thoughts and finally the silence between our thoughts were driven far away from the music you played. Each song had its own memory lingered with us. I slowly looked at you as you murmured  each lyric and it was amazing how beautiful our taste of music had it's own similarity. We stayed with each other for hours just listening to music and on and off you tipped my forehead with your tender kisses. I smiled as I embrace my self more in your arms and together we lost our selves in the simplicity of the music we shared. 

It was a beautiful night and we both would never forget the memories we built. Your eyes lingered mine when you said how much you wanted this night to repeat its own history again. It was an innocent  night filled with pure love, bonded with magical emotional feelings only you and I can ever understand.  

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 11:34 AM, ,

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