Sajini Chandrasekera

this is where I am at

Distant Love

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My guest post Distant love appeared on Light Within.


posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 2:11 PM, ,

Domestic Violence

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Domestic violence and abuse can happen to any one at any time and most of time they are excused or just forgotten. Though we don't notice these abuses are mostly psychological than physical and they end up having psycological problems which is a major issue to the family and to the society. No one have the right to live in fear with the people they love . It can be the father , brother or husband and also this can be on female party as well. Most of cases it is the strong party which abuse the other who is weaker in strength , wealth or education level or there can be other issues like loosing temper or getting drunk or depression . What ever the cause no man or woman can be abused by another either mentally or physically.

Domestic abuse is when your spouse or partner tries dominate and control the other person. Domestic abuse which includes physical violence is called Domestic violence . Most are inocent victims who have no strong support from their familes and are helpless to stand against this . Domestic violence/abuse can happen with both genders but mostly in Asia the victims are women and children.

Domestic violence can be catergorise in different groups such as physical, sexual, emotional, economic, or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. The damage which is caused by these activites are long time or maybe life time . Rather than western countries, we Asians still don't give much consideration on this as women bear all the pain and suffering as they are helpless to stand against their father, brother or husband . Even though we live in modern society Asian women are still treated as less important role by the male comunity. Still 95% of stories on domestic violence and abuse are unheared and will remain so .

Can this be stopped is the big question on the line . There can be many reasons for a man or woman to behave like a abuser , but that doesn't give the permission to hurt another human physiacally or pshycology . Alcohol , drugs , depression , anger are some of the cause for a man to behave like this and these kind of people need medication than hours of unwanted lectures .

The innocent victims also should be educated to come forward and report that they are being abused and these women should feel protect by goverment or other non goverment institutes. These women /children should be able to let out their pain and seek help and also they should be felt important in this society. Children should be educated about domestic violence and be taught what they experience at their own homes are morally wrong and there are other ways to stop this .

If you look closely domestic violence had become a public matter but most of us remain silent . But the real dangers of this issue is when the young generation who are victims or have experience this kind of act among their parents may also one day become a threat to the comunity. So it is our responsibilty to act againt this and to help these victims to live a better tomorrow.

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 12:10 PM, ,

Silent Cry

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My guest post Silent cry appeared at Light Within.

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posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 3:21 PM, ,

What Makes Most Relationships Fail ?

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Having a healthy relationship is an asset to life and our parents and grandparents enjoyed this asset all their lives . With the emerge of the modern society most relationships begin to fail and we see more unhappy couples and broken marriages. What made these relationships or marriages fail is a must we should discuss in open as we individuals carry different levels of mental attitudes and it's worth to take all into consideration

Relationships are all about give and take and once this is disturbed in either way the red flag is hosted. We all love to be loved and when you love your spouse and show it to them , they will love you back without any conditions . But if you expect your spouse to love you and if you ignore or take it for granted then you shouldn't be surprise if your spouse stop loving you and once the distance is created it's very difficult for you to put things back together .

Healthy relationships require partners to focus on each other's strengths, not minor weaknesses. Unfortunately, time has a way of shifting our focus on the wrong things.We all have many differences and when we focus too much on them, we can easily become irritated. It is important to keep the right perspective. It is the differences between people that make things interesting and challenging. Trying to change all the ways another person is different from you is futile and frustrating. Never the less many people still try to do it.

Good relationships are founded on honesty. Without honesty there is no trust and without trust there is no commitment. Without commitment the relationship is merely an "experiment" in the borderline of failing. Immorality is one of those non-negotiable items in life that many of us struggle hard to deny, but sooner or later reality wins out.
Immorality is doing anything intentionally that hurts another person, words included. Words are a very powerful tool which can soothe or hurt and words must be chosen carefully before you speak.

I believe that no marriage or no relationship is perfect but the power is in with us to write our own story . Real love is never about finding the perfect person , it's about becoming that person who can be loved . Soul mates are never born they are only created by understanding , compromising , loving , caring being emotionally available , vulnerable, and most of all taking the risk of contributing what's important to your partner . Rather than complaining about your partner try to be the person your partner wants you to be and with this you will definitely get the person you want in your spouse.

And finally "Relationships fail because we don't know what love is or what is required to actually love someone." And I think, due to not seeing the other person without the magic glasses, and not seeing OURSELVES through their eyes - how they view us, what they need from us, and what we're truly willing to give.

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 11:37 AM, ,

That Painful Moment

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That day , that time , that moment
I was stabbed with pain of loosing
It shook my world and tore my heart
Knowing that i was blind all along

Life is not easy and i knew it
Pain and tears have played their role
Strength and courage roared through time
But still i was afraid of loosing

Walking out was easy but surviving was hard
Staying in was hard but that was the game
Fighting a battle with love and care was the play
Winning with grace was the final destination

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 3:30 PM, ,

I'm lonely

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I stand here looking into sky
Tring to find my soul with in
But deep inside i felt sadness
Loneliness i feel every where
Having so many loved ones around me
To love , to care and to cherish
Smiling to make others happy
Feeling deep pain inside
I feel lost with in my self
Wanting to find a way out
Looking for a giuding star
To look beyond the boundry
I looked high and i looked low
But the shadow of loneliness follow
Help me to find my way to light
To be happy as a man can be.

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 4:17 PM, ,

A Stranger

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Coldness in your eyes i see....
Hardness in your voice i hear....
Heavyness in your heart i feel.....
Pain of a lost soul i see.....

A stranger you have become....
A stranger that i 've never known....
But, in a strange way i feel.....
There lies my love with in deep....

I searched in and i searched out...
But couldn't find my love....
Yet, you bear his name but not his soul.....
Of the precious love which i've lost..

Your words stabbed my heart...
Your actions hurt my feelings.....
I was helplessly looking for comfort...
Comfort in a stranger which i thought was you.....

Aimlessly ,you travel in life path......
Not knowing your destination in life...
You have travelled so far, yet alone....
And to me a stranger you have become.....

Your words didn't make me smile.....
Your actions didn't make me laugh...
The thought of you didn't exite me....
Felt like a stranger had cross my path.....

I talked to you so dear.....
You.., a stranger yet so near...
I was lost in my own thoughts so far away...
Hoping that oneday , i'll find love in you again.....

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 3:40 PM, ,

Teens Playing Ground

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Facebook - the most popular social network in the world of cyber is now trolling it's way to danger with the newcomers , specially with teenagers. Facebook currently limits it's age from 13 upwards , but children in the ages of 10 - 12 have Facebook accounts exposing themselves to strangers and posting posts which may not be very innocent to catch the attention of a predator. This is mostly not aware to children or to any young new comer who have no experience in this so popular social network and very easily these youngsters falls into the trap of predators on Facebook and the most worst situation occurs that may bring life time traumas to that innocent child.

Social networking sites allow members to create individualized pages that often include personal information such as relationship status, age, city of residence and birth date, as well as photos, videos and personal comments. Social networking also makes children the target of cruel jokes from their peers, cyber-bullying and crude language in general. While you still cannot get into an R-rated movie if you are under 17, you can hardly help running across sexually explicit language, photos and videos through Facebook.

Internet porn is nothing new, but you used to at least have to go looking for it. But Facebook allows any “friend” to post to your wall or comment to your posts and attach messages and images that not only hurt your child, but are seen by their friends and the public – adding insult to injury and further damaging their reputation.Teens tend to have twice as many Facebook "Friends", as adults, on average. Most don’t realize that as a result, simply sharing with your own “network” (friends and friends of friends) is not safe because it exposes all your posts to tens of thousands, and potentially millions, of strangers. Whether your child posts inappropriate messages or images of themselves, or whether they get “tagged” by another Facebook user attaching their name to an inappropriate image, their reputation – online, in school, and in the future just now forming, can be seriously damaged in mere seconds.
The modern web is far more than a communicating medium and now in modern society it has become a foreground for youngsters to spend time chatting friends or visiting social network sites. As we know teen years are full of curiosity and they will seek information which they lack, to dig from the Internet and most common will be articles and pictures on sex .These are the years of childhood in which an identity apart from the family is forged and that has always involved hiding aspects of life from one's parents. The Internet provides a forum for exploring to satisfy their desires.

Once a teen enter the world of Facebook they find it a play ground and even without to their knowledge they become victims of predators who are waiting to grab such innocent victims , and these predators are very well experience in their own game .Teen is a age where they seek attention mostly from opposite sex and once a Facebook profile is open you add all the friends you know and comment on their walls and with time strangers who have mutual friends and strangers who are total from nowhere would send request and all times all these profiles are very attractive with a very beautiful profile picture which is not even belong to the real owner of the profile. This is how teens add their numbers of friends and very well talented predator will know the difference of an armature and an experienced Facebook account holder. Once they know the difference then they lay out their trap very well. Teens are very inexperienced in life and they will trust anyone who show them love and caring and will share all their personal information about their mobile numbers to home address and once they are trapped either they make the teen fall in love with them or blackmail them through the net. The more you reveal about your life on Facebook, the more you educate strangers of dubious motives to who you are, your daily habits and where you can be found.

Online love is becoming very popular these days and these predators always give false information on their age, relationship status and all other personal information, but teens trust every word they say on chat and have no idea what's so ever that the boy of 16 they chat is a man of 50 who is married with kids or maybe a grandfather. Once the predator makes a firm ground with teen girl /boy then they take it to next level of asking to send nude pictures and a teen girl who is madly in love will go any extend to keep the online lover attracted to her . These nude pictures have a much more chance of circulating on the net as you can never trust man/woman who is behind the screen of your computer. Some online love predators get the girl on the webcam and ask her to take get naked and they make sure not to show themselves of they are in false age or gender. These nude webcam videos will be on the net the very next moment reveling the true identities of a innocent girl. This is not always between the opposite sex, maybe it's between the same sexes and the damage is still the same.

Add to this the phenomenon of Sexting making its way from high schoolers down into elementary school children and this makes Facebook the perfect storm of vulnerable young people revealing way too much personal information about themselves in a way that sexual predators from a few years older to decades older can find and use against them. Sexting is becoming very popular among teenagers and they use it in Facebook chats and on their mobile phones. This is the newest version they use to take precaution from elders and the language they use are either symbols or initial letters of a word and I think as parents we must be fully aware on this and to some extend parents must be educate on this new texting methods.

These are just a few of the reasons that Facebook accounts need to be monitored by parents and guardians. Too much is at stake. Protect those you care about or without your knowledge the whole life of your child will be ruined and life time scars will remain with them throughout.

The greatest danger to teens on social media is not what they do online, but rather what others do and say about them....
Related: My Earlier Guest Posts Stream

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 11:52 AM, ,

Hello World

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I came across blogging or what a blog is was very recently. I have been writting poems and whatever feelings. Some of the articles were published in Light Within - a Pakistani blog and some still remains on my personal computer. My main interest is love and relationships and I always had a patient ear and an understanding to listen to other people's feelings which made me write about how I see things and wanted to express my views to the world.

I was suggested to blog some time back but due to unknown fears kept relegating the idea; ‘I'll think about it.’ Fears were that ‘I'll not be good, people will not like my writings or weather I will be able to stand a chance in ever growing blogosphere. But unless I get in to blogging I will not know how good or bad 'I’ll row my boat. So here I go. Goal: simply to share my views and thoughts with people with similar interests.

We all have learnt certain lessons in life with experience and to me at this moment most important is that i should overcome my fears of blogging and enjoy what it's in stored for me. I will post articles which will interest people who are interested in love and relationships and hope I will interact with more of similar interests. You are welcome to start a discussion.
Sri Lanka don't have much of English bloggers. So here is to all Sri Lankans to start their own. Let's make Sri Lankan voice be heard.

I invite all my friends and family to join me here and share your views with me. Let’s start talking now.

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 3:30 PM, ,

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