Sajini Chandrasekera

this is where I am at

Domestic Violence

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Domestic violence and abuse can happen to any one at any time and most of time they are excused or just forgotten. Though we don't notice these abuses are mostly psychological than physical and they end up having psycological problems which is a major issue to the family and to the society. No one have the right to live in fear with the people they love . It can be the father , brother or husband and also this can be on female party as well. Most of cases it is the strong party which abuse the other who is weaker in strength , wealth or education level or there can be other issues like loosing temper or getting drunk or depression . What ever the cause no man or woman can be abused by another either mentally or physically.


Domestic abuse is when your spouse or partner tries dominate and control the other person. Domestic abuse which includes physical violence is called Domestic violence . Most are inocent victims who have no strong support from their familes and are helpless to stand against this . Domestic violence/abuse can happen with both genders but mostly in Asia the victims are women and children.

Domestic violence can be catergorise in different groups such as physical, sexual, emotional, economic, or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. The damage which is caused by these activites are long time or maybe life time . Rather than western countries, we Asians still don't give much consideration on this as women bear all the pain and suffering as they are helpless to stand against their father, brother or husband . Even though we live in modern society Asian women are still treated as less important role by the male comunity. Still 95% of stories on domestic violence and abuse are unheared and will remain so .


Can this be stopped is the big question on the line . There can be many reasons for a man or woman to behave like a abuser , but that doesn't give the permission to hurt another human physiacally or pshycology . Alcohol , drugs , depression , anger are some of the cause for a man to behave like this and these kind of people need medication than hours of unwanted lectures .

The innocent victims also should be educated to come forward and report that they are being abused and these women should feel protect by goverment or other non goverment institutes. These women /children should be able to let out their pain and seek help and also they should be felt important in this society. Children should be educated about domestic violence and be taught what they experience at their own homes are morally wrong and there are other ways to stop this .

If you look closely domestic violence had become a public matter but most of us remain silent . But the real dangers of this issue is when the young generation who are victims or have experience this kind of act among their parents may also one day become a threat to the comunity. So it is our responsibilty to act againt this and to help these victims to live a better tomorrow.

posted by Sajini Lakshika Chandrasekera @ 12:10 PM,

21 Comments:

At July 26, 2012 at 12:43 PM, Anonymous Shi said...

This reminds me so much that happened to me personally not long ago.

 
At July 26, 2012 at 1:00 PM, Anonymous LG said...

Once again a finely written article and a topic every one should talk about . Very thankful for this post and hope it will make the victims stand for their own rights.

 
At July 26, 2012 at 1:12 PM, Anonymous Power Angel said...

As you say this is a public issue and need to be taken into attention. Bloggers like you can do it .

 
At July 26, 2012 at 1:17 PM, Anonymous Sushil said...

Another fantasitc post by the beautiful blogger :-)

 
At July 26, 2012 at 1:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shout loud...let the world hear this cry .

 
At July 26, 2012 at 1:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This gives a very important message to all of us. If only we can stop and feel the pain of these inocent peopl who are victims .

 
At July 26, 2012 at 1:42 PM, Anonymous Sreeni said...

A very informative article . Hope the society will benifit from your blogging articles.

 
At July 26, 2012 at 2:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I friend of mine recomemnded your blog that i should read it . I my self is a victim of this domestic violence . I married my husband in a love affair and after my two kids he became a alcoholic and every day he use to come home and beat me . I'm still going through it and my kids watch all this behind doors . I can't go forward with this as i'm helpless . There's no way out for me than suffering for life . I don't want my sons to be like my husband but now my eldest who is 17 is taking alcohol and a heavy smoker.
Your post is very good but what else can you do than this Sajini ? Please help people like us .

 
At July 26, 2012 at 3:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello....
I heard about this blog and this article and i have a story of my own.I married on proposal and my parents promised a certain amount of dowry. Just before my wedding my father died and my mother was not able to give the promised amount. But he agreed to marry me but after marriage we had lot of financial difficulties and every day he kept attacking me with the most harsh words and for 22 years i 've been livning in this agony. Words hurt more than any thing . Every thing he says still hurt me even after 22 years . I don't know weather this belongs to this post you are talking here , but i think words are also is kind of abuse .
I read all your blog and some thing tells me that you can heal most hearts. I feel you have the power to touch hearts and heal them . Sajini , please take this message to the world and stop this . Wish you all the blessings of GOD .

 
At July 26, 2012 at 3:34 PM, Blogger Deb Sistrunk said...

This is a well-written post on a very important subject. It really lays out all of the issues. I agree: domestic violence is a very serious matter. It is a criminal act and a public health issue. You have done the public a great service today by building awareness on this topic.

 
At July 26, 2012 at 6:24 PM, Blogger Sajini Chandrasekera said...

@ Shi...
In most marriages/relationships is happens once in a while. But what should be done is rather than taking the issue in the long run talk things out and settle once and for all.If you make this happen it will never stop.

 
At July 26, 2012 at 6:27 PM, Blogger Sajini Chandrasekera said...

@ LG....
Thank you for your comments and yes the purpose of this article is to let the victims know that domestic violence is an issue that they should consider as a abuse and should not allow even their own spouse to harm them mentally or physically.

 
At July 26, 2012 at 6:30 PM, Blogger Sajini Chandrasekera said...

@ Power Angel ...
Thank you for your words. Bloggers can to certain amount make the society be aware of this situation , but i think mostly its the families it self who should protect the victims coz still women have fear to come out and cry loud . So if her own family stand strong beside her she will gain courage to stand for her self .

 
At July 26, 2012 at 6:30 PM, Blogger Sajini Chandrasekera said...

@ Sushil....
Thank you for your comments .

 
At July 26, 2012 at 6:34 PM, Blogger Sajini Chandrasekera said...

@ Anonymous....
This is part of the shout to let the world hear, but if we need to stop this specially in Asia we need more than words. We need action and to educate people that domestic violence is illegal and if you are a victim , how to stand for your self .We all need to get together on this . May be oneday we may put a end to this .....

 
At July 26, 2012 at 6:35 PM, Blogger Sajini Chandrasekera said...

@ Sreeni...
Thank you and the purpose is to serve human kind through my writing ..

 
At July 26, 2012 at 6:46 PM, Blogger Sajini Chandrasekera said...

@ Anonymous...
Your story moved me so much and this made me think how many women there are who silently suffer of this violence . I fully understand your situation and it's very common in most parts of Asia. I mainly think it coz lack of education level , depression , anger and selfishness . Most Asian women don't have the courage to stand on this coz they are dependents and remain silently suffer alone . As you say the most fearful thing is how it effects the kids. I understand that your son at very young age seems to be following your husband .
You must have every thing you can to make things right but still maybe options are left . Find out why your husband got addicted to drinking and find a solution there. Love him all you can and show it in your actions that you love him and care for him . Make him feel your worth and when ever you can spend time with him . This way you can win him and eventually you'll be able to put a stop to your agony . And also your son ...

 
At July 26, 2012 at 6:57 PM, Blogger Sajini Chandrasekera said...

@ Anonymous...
I was moved by your story as well as the above . Yes , words or things use to abuse another verbally is also domestic violence coz it effects mentally and cause physiological problems . Dowry is a common issue in these parts of Asia and i think every one should be educated that a woman's worth can never be a price tag .
I can talk about common issues in my blog or listen to your side of story . But this is not a issue which can be sort out in just a blog writing , this needs the whole community awareness...
But i think you and the above mention are brave to come forward with your stories and next time please leave your name as i get to know . Thank you for expressing your views and your pain . Hope you will find happiness soon .

 
At July 26, 2012 at 7:01 PM, Blogger Sajini Chandrasekera said...

@ Deb Sistrunk...
Thank you Deb. Your words have encouraged me to go further on this . Yes , this is a serious matter and the public must be aware of it . The danger is the numbers are rising up and no one notice the harm which it's causing . Hope as bloggers we can do more to this and help who needs to come out of this misery .

 
At September 9, 2012 at 9:04 AM, Anonymous Kausar Bilal said...

A very nice read!
Actually, abuse have deep-rooted reasons behind violence, specially our home structure let it grow. We don't teach our kids to accept everyone, to respect the differences, and let others enjoy their rights. Consequently, it is demonstrated in the form of abusing others.

 
At September 9, 2012 at 10:08 AM, Blogger Sajini Chandrasekera said...

@ Kausar Bilal...
Thank you so much for your words . As long as the male dominance exist this will not stop and it's important to teach our sons to respect and love all women . We should teach the value of women and made them understand that a man should never hurt the woman mentally or physically.

 

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